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  1. #1
    Mike508 is offline
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    Default How to stop loving someone - depression


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    I'm in love with someone that I shouldn't be in love with. I think about this person all the time, this person is on my mind when I first wake up and last thing on my mind when I go to sleep. I daydream / fantise about this person constantly throughout the day. I've been like this for the last year. We're good friends and talk / e-mail at least once a week and see each other every now and then. I wish I could see this person as just a friend, but I could feel that it's more then that. Being that it can't be more then just a friendship, I fall into a depression every now and then, all I would like to do is sleep and I don't feel like having any fun. Any sugestons as to what I can do to stop thinking about this person so much and move on. I feel like it's taken over my life and I hate it. I would like to see this person as just a friend and nothing more, but can't seem to do that. Please Help !


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  2. #2
    Member Christian's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to stop loving someone - depression

    First off, I'm going to move this from the Health Discussion forum to the Depression forum.

    Question (remember, you're anonymous here, it's OK...) - reading between the lines and your consistent use of the phrase "this person," I'm wondering if this "friend" happens to be another guy, and you are having "sexual" feelings you feel are unacceptable in your value system. I know I'm making a big leap there, but, if that is the case, consider letting us know, because that would be an important part of the total picture which we need to take into account with our advice.

    However, if this is just a matter of wanting to "move on" - then, well the way to do that is to move on. Focus your time and your efforts on getting to meet and spend time with different people. Take up a new hobby. The best way to get something out of your mind is to fill your mind and your time with something else.

    I will also say this. If you find yourself CONSTANTLY unable to think about anything else - and it continues to affect your whole life - as it is already most certainly doing, then that, as you know, is not healthy, and you would owe it to yourself to seek professional help. And don't be shy or afraid of doing that, because it's far better than wasting any more of your life unable to think about anything else.
    WWJD - What WOULD Jesus do? Read Matthew, chapters 5-7 in the Bible - and find out now!

    Disclaimer: I am NOT a medical professional and my posts should be considered layman's advice only. When in doubt see your doctor. Also please note: Due to personal policy and time limitations, I have set my profile options to accept messages from GovTeen Staff only. I regret any inconvenience this may cause.


  3. #3
    suzukib2008 is offline
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    Cry Re: How to stop loving someone - depression

    Hello, i am Suzie i know exactly how your feeling :-( here is my story well i have been in a relationship for 4 and a half years now and i have 2 kids. Me and my partner play pool together for a long time. To cut the story short i have feel in love with one of our friends at pool and we have had an affair but i asked if he wanted to be with me and he said it will never happen. My current partner knows what has happened and does know i have strong feelings for him. I really do love him and i feel terrible i think about him everyday and every minute i see him every week. He knows i feel for him but he still flirts with me and occasionally has romantic moments with me but still he wants no relationship with me. I just want to stop feeling for him and get on with my partner and be happy in my family.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: How to stop loving someone - depression

    Quote Originally Posted by Mike508 View Post
    I'm in love with someone that I shouldn't be in love with. I think about this person all the time, this person is on my mind when I first wake up and last thing on my mind when I go to sleep. I daydream / fantise about this person constantly throughout the day. I've been like this for the last year. We're good friends and talk / e-mail at least once a week and see each other every now and then. I wish I could see this person as just a friend, but I could feel that it's more then that. Being that it can't be more then just a friendship, I fall into a depression every now and then, all I would like to do is sleep and I don't feel like having any fun. Any sugestons as to what I can do to stop thinking about this person so much and move on. I feel like it's taken over my life and I hate it. I would like to see this person as just a friend and nothing more, but can't seem to do that. Please Help !
    You just summed up why I registered on this forum. I hope you get an answer because it means I'll get one too...
    If you're looking for a sign, this is it. Do it.

    Always available.

  5. #5
    Floater is offline
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    Default Re: How to stop loving someone - depression

    im trying to get over a girl i just broke up with too lol... i came back to the forum for help about how i should move on and u spoke my heart and mind..

    im taking driving lessons and im gonna take further drumming lessons and im gonna focus on maybe trying an art career and stuff

    but problem is the nights and right when u wake up or when ur alone, i dunno if its the same with you..

    anyway... take up hobbies i definately agree with christian on what he said coz when im taking a driving lesson and busy with drawing or whatever i really get my mind away from her

    good luck man, i get exactly how u feel...

    PS remember that everything takes time, especially strong emotions to fade away
    Plugged in and ready to go!



    "All is mine but nothing owned, nothing owned for memory, and mine only while I look." - Szymborska

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  6. #6
    Punjabi Kudi is offline
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    Default Re: How to stop loving someone - depression

    woah uber bump,, but it seems people want help with the issue, so Ill keep it open

    If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.
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  7. #7
    Have At Thee! is offline
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    Default Re: How to stop loving someone - depression

    Stay busy, and give it time. Or take the easy way out and get another bf/gf. There's not much you can do about having feelings for someone.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: How to stop loving someone - depression

    I'm in the same position. I love this girl I work with, but she's a jehovah's witness, which makes a relationship pretty difficult. I think about her all day and night, and she's ALWAYS on my mind.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: How to stop loving someone - depression

    Ah, same position. Except he supposively loved me, we had fun (but never dated) and now he's going out with his ex ( he never really did get over her...). I tried getting stoned and drunk out of my head and hooking up at parties, which, I'm not going to lie, helped a little, but I can't do that during school, so I'm hoping for a good answer/ coping method. I wouldn't care as much if we didn't do everything in MY house where I spent a good amount of time.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: How to stop loving someone - depression

    I guess in a way i'm answering my own thread which i posted earlier. But I think that perhaps the only way you can truly get over someone is to make a decision either way. Its either go for it completely and ask them how the feel and perhaps they may even feel the same, or just completely cut them out of your life and just stay busy with whatever you can until you meet someone else who can make you forget about the other person.

    I know it seems like a risk that might ruin a friendship but if you dont try then you'll never know and to me thats something I'd rather risk because the worst thing would be to keep living in pain and wondering if they might have felt the same and What if?

  11. #11
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    Default Re: How to stop loving someone - depression

    But what if you know they don't feel the same but still can't shake the feelings? Sounds foolish but can be so painful.
    If you're looking for a sign, this is it. Do it.

    Always available.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: How to stop loving someone - depression

    This was 4 years ago, but it helped me.

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    Default Re: How to stop loving someone - depression

    Sorry to hear that you have been throught this. Firstly, take a break from your regular schedule for few days and just see, if it can get some change in your behaviour. Secondaly, you must consult a specialist for this and act according his/her advice. There are various prescription drugs to get over anxiety and depression, but these should only be used in accordance with the instruction of a physician as such medicines are habit forming and withdrawl from these drugs can be life threatning. You can have all the information on Anxiety, Depression and its drugs on http://www.xanax-effects.com

  14. #14
    Troll is offline
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    Default Re: How to stop loving someone - depression

    OP hasn't been on Govteen since 2005. Also a big bump.

    Cheers Parisienne

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